*PARODY* Rugrats in Paris Chapter 9

Rugrats in Paris

Chapter 9

The toddlers continued their way to Notre Dame, with Jean-Claude in hot pursuit.

“Come on, give it some gas,” Roxy commanded, but Matt passed gas.

“Ewe, Matt!” Shenzi groaned. “No offense, but could somebody maybe open a window?” She put her hand over her little nose.

“Okay,” Roxy opened the door to the mouth, where Santana and Frankie were at, “Hello guys.” Frankie climbed up the ladder to where the others were.

“’Bout time you tinkle heads came to the rescue,” Santana glared as she started to climb up.

“Tag, you’re it!” Jean-Claude grabbed Reptar by the tail, making Santana fall of the ladder and grab one of its teeth, and started spinning it around. “Babies go round and round, I’ll launch them from the ground. They will go flying now, their mommies have a cow…” Reptar’s tail come loose, and it flew away into the Eiffel Tower. Bobby accidentally pressed a button, making an engine go off. Reptar shot up the Eiffel Tower and stopped at the top, catapulting Santana in the air.

“Look, up in the sky!” Maxie exclaimed.

“It’s a nerd!” Frankie said.

“It’s a pain!” Bobby said. Then Shenzi  caught Santana with Reptar’s hand.

“It’s Santana,” Roxy said.

“What’s the big idea? Are you potty-heads trying to get rid of me?!” Santana yelled.

“That was the big idea,” Roxy said to Bobby.

“Can you see the church?” Maxie asked. They looked around until Shenzi saw it; Notre Dame!

“There it is!” Shenzi pointed to it with her free hand, but realized she had let go of the tower. They fell down until they safely hit the ground.

“Shenzi! You’re my hero!” Roxy exclaimed. Then Shenzi started tugging the back of the skirt on her dress.

“Hang on, you guys. I think I gots a wedgie,” She said. Meanwhile,

“Grasping fingers, dimpled chin, pudgy bellies, velvet skin,” Friar Tuck read off the paper, smiling.

“Enough poetry!” Fabre` snapped, “Marry us now!” She glared at the minister.

“Look Shenzi, we’re almost there!” Maxie pointed.

“Yeah, there’s the church!” Frankie said.

“Hello, my toddling tourists,” Jean-Claude sneered, coming back with Robosnail, “This is where your tour of Paris comes to an end.”

“Shenzi, we gots to beat Robosnail or that mean lady’s going to be your new mommy!” Maxie exclaimed. Shenzi glared in determination.

“Over my dad’s potty!” She went in for the fight.

“En garde, babies.” Reptar fell backwards on a car, while Robosnail’s eye fell out and landed where Reptar’s tail used to be.

“Out of my way, slugface!” Shenzi yelled. “Ooh, take that!” She grabbed Robosnail’s eyestalk and stretched it, “And that!” She let go of it, making Robosnail spin around and fall in the river.

“You did it, Shenzi!” Maxie cheered.

“Yeah, I did,” She said in surprise, “Now let’s go save my daddy!” Reptar headed closer to Notre Dame. Meanwhile,

“For better or for worse, next!” Fabre` snapped.

“For richer or…” The minister said.

“Poorer, sickness!” She snapped.

“And in health.”

“Ohh! Must we repeat everything?!” Fabre` shouted as she grabbed his book and threw it at him, scattering the pages around. Then everyone heard a rumbling noise, and saw the water moving.

“Oh dear Lord, I skipped a section,” The minister said, flustered. Reptar, who was the source of the rumbling, approached the church.

“Hurry, Shenzi!” Maxie said. Then a door fell off, revealing rubber bands held together by paper clips.

“Hey, look what I found,” Bobby said, referring to them.

“Papey clips and bubber bands!” Roxy exclaimed as Bobby pulled them out. Then Reptar’s head flew off and landed on a guy’s car. A door opened, and rolled a slide out, reaching the ground.

“I’m coming, daddy!” Shenzi slid down, throwing the gear off, and ran towards the church doors at top speed.

“Go, Shenzi, go!” Maxie exclaimed.

“Hurry!” Frankie said.

“You can do it, Shenzi!” Roxy exclaimed. But when Shenzi came up to the doors, the knobs’ eyes glowed, and they growled, like on the princess tower! Shenzi gasped and backed away.

“If anyone objects to this union, speak now, or forever hold your peace,” The minister said as Friar Tuck gulped, feeling nervous. Outside, Shenzi was whimpering and cowering, but she glared in determination.

“I gots to be brave; I gots to be brave,” Shenzi said to herself before she shoved the doors open. “NOOOOOOOO!!!” She screamed as she ran down the aisle, getting everyone’s attention; because she said her real first word!

“Shenzi?!” Friar Tuck exclaimed in surprise. Everyone gasped and looked back at the child. “She said her first word,” He breathed in awe before he smiled widely, “She’s talking!”

“NOOOOOOOO!!!” Shenzi screamed again.

“Shenzi! Shenzi!” Friar Tuck ran up and bent down as his little girl ran into his arms and started crying his shoulder. “Oh, it’s okay, it’s okay, Daddy’s here,” He rubbed her back and stroked her hair in comfort as Shenzi revealed her face.

“And so is her new mommy,” Fabre` piped up, coming over to them, “Come here, little girl,” She tried to pick her up, the child flailed her arms and legs about.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!” She yelled before she buried her little face back in her daddy’s shoulder. Then an injured Jean-Claude came stumbling.

“Madame!” He sputtered out, “Our kidnapping plot has failed!”

“Ignore that unemployed fool!” Fabre` yelled.

“Fabre`, the wedding is off!” Friar Tuck exclaimed angrily, “You are not the woman I thought you were!” Then  the other toddlers walked in.

“Hey lady,” Santana piped up, “Looks like your plan to trick Mr. Yummy Sushi didn’t work after all.”

“Pretty flower girls should be seen, not heard,” Fabre` hissed. Then Mr. Yamaguchi stood up from his seat.

“I’d like to hear what the little one has to say,” He said, as Fabre` gasped a bit.

“Okay, but listen good, ‘cause I’m tired of telling this story,” Santana said, “That cuckoo lady told her boss she had a kid’s heart in a jar and she was gonna marry Mr. Shenzi’s Daddy, just so she could be president!” She said in disbelief.

“Listen, you traitor,” Fabre` hissed.

“Now, Ms. LaBouche,” Mr. Yamaguchi got her attention, “You are dismissed.” He walked out of the church.

“D-dismissed? But no one fires Fabre` LaBouche. Fabre` LaBouche fires others! Fabre` LaBouche is EuroReptar!” She tried to march out, but Maxie and the twins were standing on the extra-long skirt of her dress.

“Off the gown, you revolting carpet mice!” She yanked it away, making them fall on their backs. Their parents gasped in shock.

“Listen, lady!” Santana glared, “No one messes with my dumb babies ‘cept me!” Fabre` walked away in a huff, but Santana ripped the back of her dress by stepping on it harshly.

“I see London, I see France,” Jean-Claude taunted, “I see Fabre`’s underpants.” She saw that her underwear was indeed showing, and she backed out of the church.

“Well take a picture. This is the last time you’ll see Fabre` or her underpants!” She shouted before she realized that tourists were indeed taking pictures of her underpants. “Ohhh!” She groaned as she walked away, the tourists still taking pictures. Plus Spike was growling and chewing on Jean-Claude’s boot.

“Bad dog! Bad dog!” He exclaimed, before he fell out of the boot and ran off, with Spike chasing him “Fabre`, Fabre`! Wait!”

“Go get ‘em, Spike!” Goofy chuckled as Matt blew a raspberry in Fabre` and Jean-Claude’s way.

“Looks like Spike found himself a little patootie,” Kellie smiled, “Come here, my little pumpkin pies!” She picked up her twins. During the reunion, Felicia and Frankie came in.

“Shenzi, I have something that belongs to you,” Felicia smiled, holding out Kitty. Shenzi took it, and hugged it close to her, smiling happily.

“Thank you, Felicia,” Friar Tuck smiled. Felicia then frowned sadly.

“Friar, I am so sorry; I wanted to tell you about Fabre`, but…”

“No, no, no, no, it’s my fault, Felicia,” He claimed, “I guess I got caught up in the romance of Paris.” He laid his hand on the back of Shenzi’s head, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Oh, how my heart beats wild,” Felicia smiled, quoting a certain poem.

“Each time I hold my precious child,” Friar Tuck hugged Shenzi closer to him before he looked up at Felicia in surprise. “Wait, you know that poem?”

“Oh, it is my favorite,” Felicia smiled.