literature

*PARODY* Rugrats- Santana Orders Out

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(A/N: Just a warning: This will have none of the original Rugrats characters! It’ll only have the characters I’m using for a parody! You’ve been warned. Enjoy!... I hope.)

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Santana Orders Out

-

Goofy Goof, his wife Gigi, and his childhood best friend Friar Tuck were planning on attending the “Wonderful World of Wickers” seminar, so they were keeping Goofy and Gigi’s 3-year-old niece Santana, and Friar Tuck’s 2-year-old daughter Shenzi in Santana’s grandfather Goofy Sr.’s care, as long as he didn’t fall asleep, at the Tuck house. Shenzi was standing in the colorfully-fenced playpen, while Santana was standing just outside of it by the red and purple gate.

But before the adults were going to leave, Goofy was showing off his new invention to the two little girls; He was stomping towards them while growling, not being gnarly enough to scare them, before he rapidly walked up to them, and pressed the button on the invention. “Hello, Santana; It's me, Uncle Goofy, the magic elf!” Santana giggled at his now high-pitched voice. “Hiya Shenzi,” He turned to the younger girl, his voice back to being at a low pitch.

“Aaah!” She exclaimed in fear, but didn’t cry.

“Come over to the dark side, and on the way, pick me up half a dozen bagels; two plain, two onion, and two...”

“Goofy, what on earth?” Gigi exclaimed in surprise and amusement before he finished, as she walked in with Santana’s mother Tomie, and Friar Tuck following. The long-haired child perked up at her daddy’s presence.

“Hey Geeg, check out my new invention!” Goofy smiled, “It's the Goof Voice Frequency Modulator 5000. Watch this!” After explaining, he held the small machine up to Shenzi’s mouth, so her adorable coos were much deeper.

“Can I try it, Uncle Goofy?” Santana requested, and he handed it to her. “So, how does it work?” She asked him, before she realized that she sounded exactly like her mother! “Hey! Listen to me!”

“Well I’ll be!” Goofy Sr. exclaimed from his chair, “She sounds just like Tomie!”

“Alright, now I’m the boss of everybody, and you all have to do ezactly what I say!” Santana kept speaking with her changed voice.

“Isn’t that precious?” Tomie smiled.

“Heh yeah, precious,” Goofy chuckled, “Okay sweetie, give Uncle Goofy back his invention!” He gently took it from her, as she frowned sadly.

“Awww!”

“You wouldn’t want to break his prototype,” Goofy set the GVFM5K on the counter by a picture of Maya, Shenzi’s late mother. She had learned about her after discovering a photo in a box stashed in the hall closet. Other than her eyes, Shenzi was practically her clone; She inherited her heterochromatic, blue and green eyes from her biological father.

“Oh my goodness!” Gigi exclaimed after seeing the time on her watch, “We better get going, or we’ll miss that Wonderful World of Wickers seminar!”

Goofy came up to his father when he and Gigi saw him sleeping, and tugged his hand. “Pop! Don’t go to sleep!”

“Huh? Wha-what?” He stuttered as he snapped awake.

“You said you’d watch the kids, remember?”

“Oh, of course I remember!”

“Why don't you call Zippy's Snappy Delivery Deli and just order some lunch for you and the kids?” Friar Tuck recommended, as Shenzi listened curiously, while gripping the safe, yellow fence with her tiny hands. “The number's on the speed dial. Just tell them to put it on the Tuck’s account.”

“Oh, alright!”

“Santana, Mommy has to run to a meeting,” Tomie told her daughter, “Give me a kiss!” Santana blew a kiss at her, and Tomie blew one back, before she walked away.

“Bye Shen,” Gigi patted the dark-haired girl’s head, before she followed her sister-in-law.

“Bye-bye sweetheart,” Friar Tuck smiled as he ruffled his daughter’s hair, making her giggle. “Be a good girl.” He kissed her cheek, before he followed the two Goofs.

“Bye Shenzi,” Goofy waved at the long-haired child, before turning to his father. “Bye, Pop.”

“See you in a while, Sr.!” Friar Tuck then stopped in his tracks. “Oh, and we’re trying to take care of their teeth, so don’t order them any junk food, or… or we’ll take your teeth away!”

Shenzi gasped in shock at his last words. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on, get outta here!” Goofy Sr. agreed, “Have fun!” After the three adults left, he stood up off his chair, and walked up to the two little girls. “How ‘bout we head into the kitchen, and order some lunch from Zippy’s?” He suggested; He picked up Shenzi, and headed into the kitchen, with Santana excitedly following him.

“Can I dial the phone? Huh? Can I? Can I? Please, Grandpa? Can I dial the phone? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Please? Can I? Can I? Can I Can I?” She excessively pleaded him.

“Alright already, jumping jehosphat!” He exclaimed in slight irritation, as he set Shenzi in her high chair.

“Yippie!” Santana cheered, as Goofy Sr. dragged a chair up to the phone, before he lifted her up, and set her on it.

“There you go, sprout; Now, these here are the speed dial buttons. You see?” He pointed at the buttons on the phone set. “ Number one is your cousin’s house, number two is your house, number three is Bobby and Roxy’s house, and all the way down here at number nine, is Zippy’s deli.” He grabbed the receiver, and pressed the speed dial button on it. “Now go on, and push that button.” Santana pressed the nine button, dialing the deli as she was told to. Shenzi watched from her high chair with curiosity.

At the deli, a meerkat with long-ish grey hair answered the phone. “Hello, Zippy’s snappy home delivery. This is Max speaking; How may I help you?”

“Uh hello, this is Goofy Sr. Goof; I’d like to order some food for delivery.”

Max picked up a pencil from behind his ear, and prepared to start writing the order. “Okeydoke, Mr. Goof; Shoot.”

“Send me two bologna sandwiches on white, with extra mayo, and, uh... some steamed carrots with a side of cottage cheese. And what about dessert? You got any baked apples?”

“Sure do.”

“Terrific! Send over three baked apples with that order. Account's in the name of ‘Tuck’.”

“Your food is on the way, and thanks for calling Zippy’s snappy home delivery.” Max hung up, as Goofy Sr. did as well.

“Baked apples? I hate stinky baked apples!” Santana griped.

“Sorry Santana, but you heard her daddy,” Goofy Sr. picked up Shenzi from her high chair, gently poking her chest at ‘her.’ “No junk food! You wouldn’t want your old Grandpa to get his teeth taken away, would you?” He walked back in the living room with the young child in his arms.

When she was alone, Santana looked up at the phone, a devious grin growing on her face. “Hmmm.”

-

Later, Goofy Sr. was back in his chair, as he fed Shenzi one of the baked apples; She wore a black bib with a blood splat, and “Daddy Loves Me More Than Zombies Love Brains” in white letters. Santana refused to eat her apple, so she just stared angrily at it. “There you go, sprout; All gone!” He smiled, as he fed the two-year-old girl her last bite. “Hmmm; I remember the first time I had baked apples with my grandpa. Yes sir.” He let out a yawn, before he continued. “Macintosh, they were.” He then fell asleep, and started snoring.

“Oh, finally!” Santana exclaimed, as she jumped off the couch. “I thought he’d never go to sleep!”

“Santana?” Shenzi pulled off her bib, as she turned to the older girl, “What’re you doing?” She climbed down on the floor, and followed her into the kitchen, where she saw her standing on the chair by the phone.

“Nothing that concerns babies, who like to eat stinky baked apples!” Santana sneered at her, before she turned to the phone. “Now, let’s see. Alls I gotta do is push this button!” She pressed the nine button again. “And… hey, it’s ringing!”

“Hello, Zippy’s snappy home delivery, this is Max speaking. How may I help you?” The grey-haired meerkat answered the phone again.

“Hi, I’d like a big bag of double-fudge chocolate chip cookies,” Santana requested, “Sent to the Tucks’ house right away, please.”

“Cookies?!” Shenzi exclaimed, stepping closer to the chair, “B-but if my daddy catches us with cookies, he’s gonna take away your grandpa’s teeths!”

“Quiet!” Santana swatted her away, before she continued her mission.

“Uh, excuse me, how old are you, little girl?” Max cautiously asked her.

“Uh, I’m practically six! Uh, uh nine!” She quickly lied.

“Sorry, kid; We only take orders from grown-ups.”

“But, but- hold the phone please!” Santana set the phone down on the chair, sneaked into the living room, grabbed Goofy’s GVFM5K, and came back. “Hello, this Tomie Goof speaking,” She spoke into the invention, effectively surprising Max, “I’m a growed-up lady. You got a problem sending my sweet little girl her cookies?”

“Uh, no, Mrs. G., as long as you say it's okay,” Max stuttered nervously, “Um, um...” He grabbed his pencil, and prepared to write “Tomie’s” order. “You want anything else?”

“Anything else?” Santana perked up, “Um, what else you got?”

“Well, for dessert, we got; chocolate cake, éclairs, coconut cream pie, strawberry shortcake, chocolate macadamias, flan, chocolate...” He listed the desserts, before he was cut off.

“That sounds good!” Santana exclaimed with joy, “Send it all! Bye!” Max scratched his head in confusion as the three-year-old hung up. “You know, that was pretty easy,” She remarked to herself, without the invention, “Wonder who else I could call.” She looked up at the speed dial buttons. “Hmmm; I think this button’s just what I’m looking for.” She pressed the two button as she spoke. “It’s ringing!” She gasped with excitement, before holding the receiver to her ear, and the GVFM5K to her mouth.

“Hello, Goof Residence, George speaking,” Her father answered.

“Oh, hello Da… I mean, George,” Santana almost slipped up, “This is Tomie Goof speaking.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me, hon,” George said sarcastically, not suspecting a thing, “I never would of guessed.”

“Listen, George; Santana is the bestest, most wonderfullest girl in the whole wide world…” He raised his eyebrows at his “wife’s” mispronunciations, “So, I want you to run right out to Toy City and buy me... I mean, her, that new Cynthia Ultra-Mega Play World that she's been wanting for so long, since she's been so good and all.”

“Are we talking about the same Santana?”

“Just get it!” Santana yelled, making him flinch, “And bring it over to Shenzi’s house, so Santana can play with it today. I gotta go; Kiss, kiss.” She then hung up. “Uncle Goofy’s really got somethin’ here!” She remarked to herself.

“That’s it, Santana!” Shenzi cut her off angrily, a wave of bravery washing up inside of her, “I’m gonna wake up your grandpa, so he can call that place up, and stop those cookies!” She threatened, before she walked inside the living room to do just that; But Santana grabbed her by the waistband on her tutu skirt, and pulled her back, effectively stopping her.

“Uh-uh-uh!” She smiled evilly. She set a green, empty laundry basket upside down on the floor, over the two-year-old girl, and set a heavy box of Sudso laundry detergent soap on top, to ensure no escapes. Shenzi glared angrily at her, as she walked away, clasping her hands together proudly. Then, while using Goofy’s invention, she made multitudes of phone calls, posing as her mother.

-

After a few minutes, Santana heard a vehicle stop close by; She looked out the mail slot, and saw that it was the “Zippy’s Delivery Service” truck. She giggled with excitement, before she grabbed the invention, and the framed photo of Maya, and ran back to the door. Max was about to ring the doorbell, before he heard a voice. “Just leave the bags by the door!” Santana used the invention to disguise her voice again.

“Huh? Who said that?”

“Down here!” He looked down, and saw the picture at the slot. “Just leave the bags, and go away!”

“Oh, uh… okay; Sure,” Max set the bags at the door. “Thanks for calling Zippy’s snappy home delivery.”

“… Go away!” Santana exclaimed after a couple seconds, before she closed the mail slot. Max stared at the door in confusion at “Tomie’s” behavior, before he walked back to the truck.

The sound of the motor finally snapped Goofy Sr. out of his slumber. “Huh? Yep! They were the best apples anywhere!” He finished his story, before he noticed that the girls were out of sight. “Huh? Where’d those kids go?”

In the entry room, Santana was grunting as she pulled the bags of sweets along, walking by the younger girl, who was still trapped. “This is gonna be the bestest dessert I ever…!” She smiled after grabbing an éclair, but she was cut off.

“Golly, what in tarnation?”

“Uh oh.”

Goofy Sr. freed Shenzi from her prison, before he saw Santana with the bags. “Zippy’s? Santana, how did you…?” He saw her try to hide the GVFM5K behind her back. “Goofy’s invention?! Oh my gosh!” He took it away after she revealed it. “We gotta get rid of this stuff before…!” He was interrupted by the phone ringing from its place by the door, where Santana left it. He picked up the receiver, and pressed the “Look, whoever it is, we’re a little…”

“Sr.? It’s Friar Tuck,” Shenzi’s daddy answered. The Long-haired child perked up when she barely heard his voice.

“Oh! Oh, he-hi!”

“We just wanted to let you know that the Wickers' seminar was cancelled. Apparently, there was a very serious splinter incident,” He glanced at an ambulance driving by behind him. “So, we’re coming home!”

“Oh! I well, great!”

“See you in a few minutes!” He hung up the payphone he was using, as Goofy Sr. hung up as well.

Before he could do anything else, the doorbell rang. “Oh, now what? It’s George! With some kind of big box!”

Santana gasped happily, as she ran up behind him. “My Cynthia Ultra-Mega Play World!”

“You called him too?!” Goofy Sr. exclaimed, as he turned to her, “Who else did you call?!”

“Um, nobody,” She meekly lied.

“Good!” Goofy Sr. tossed the phone and invention aside. “Okay, I’ll handle your daddy. You, you take Shenzi and, uh, hide somewhere! And don’t make a peep until I say so!” Santana grabbed Shenzi by her sides, and grunted as she dragged her along, unable to lift her up.

Meanwhile, Goofy Sr. was debating on what to do with the sweets. “All right, let me put this, no, no, better, no, I should take this one...” He was cut off by the doorbell ringing again. “Hold your horses!” He yelled, before he answered the door, holding a bag of éclairs. “He-he-hello, George! What brings you over?”

“Hi Pop,” George greeted him, “Tomie called, and said that Santana has been so good lately, that I had to run out, and get this very expensive…” He stopped when he saw some éclairs falling on the pavement. “Holy mackerel, what happened?”

“Uh oh!” Goofy Sr. exclaimed, as another fell out.

“Santana hasn’t been eating sweets, has she?”

“Why, uh, no!” He claimed, “I, I just ordered myself some dessert while the girls were napping.” He took a bite out of one éclair, and offered it to George. “You want some? It’s raspberry!” He suddenly heard a car horn go off. “Uh oh!” To his confusion, he saw Kellie and Paul walking up with Bobby and Roxy, and a present. “Stay right there!” He told his son, before quickly shutting the door. “Kellie? And Paul? What’re they doing here?”

“Um, oh yeah! I called them too,” Santana admitted, still holding onto Shenzi.

“Anybody else?!

“Uh-uh!” She shook her head.

Goofy Sr. quickly opened the door again. “Tell you what, boy; Why don’t I just grab this, and you can head home.” He took the Cynthia toy, before giving George the éclairs bag. “Here!”

“But Pop, I don’t like cream-filled…”

“Hiya, George!” Kellie greeted him, as she and Paul walked up to him, “I hope we’re not too late for Santana’s surprise shindig!”

“What are you talking about? Santana’s birthday isn’t for six months!” Just then, Goofy, Gigi, and Friar Tuck drove in, along with Tomie.

Goofy Sr. quickly looked at his wrist to check the time, despite not wearing a watch. “Well, look at the time! Nice seeing you all!” He quickly closed the door, leaving everyone confused; He quickly dropped the Cynthia toy on the floor, and ran up to the little girls. “Come, come here, sprout!” He quickly picked up Shenzi, and turned to Santana. “Santana, you get rid of all this stuff, while I keep ‘em busy!”

“Okay Grandpa!” Santana nodded.

“What is everybody talking about a surprise party for? Are we talking about Santana here? I mean, I know when my daughter was born. It was...” George was cut off by Goofy Sr. coming back outside.

“Look at this, everybody! I uh, I uh, taught Shenzi how to… dance!” He sang scat as he moved the young child around, to make it look like she was dancing, as she had a nervous expression.

“Dad, I thought you said they were napping!” George pointed out.

“George? What are you doing here?” Tomie asked her husband.

“Well, I guess I’m here for this big surprise party that you didn’t even tell me about!”

“Pop, what’s going on here?” Goofy asked his father.

Goofy Sr. backed away, as he was bombarded with questions. “Well, I uh… I, uh…” He stopped when he and the rest of the adults plus Shenzi saw Santana noisily eating the desserts she ordered.

“Hi, everybody,” She greeted them, her voice muffled.

“Pop! What happened here?” Gigi glared.

“Don’t tell me you fell asleep again!” Goofy berated him.

“Uh, uh, no, no, no!” Goofy Sr. stuttered, “As a matter of fact, I-I was watching ‘em real close!” Shenzi perked up when she saw the GVFM5K; She walked over, and picked it up. “And I uh, well… uh, don’t look at me! Ask her!” He pointed to his granddaughter, who walked up to Shenzi.

“What difference does it make, who did what? The important thing is, we’re all here, and we love each other!” She pulled Shenzi closer, as the younger child held the invention up to the three-year-old’s mouth, so she sounded like her mother, revealing who had been making those calls. “After all, family is what really matters, right?” But all the adults stared at her. “Why are you all looking at me?”

-

Back at the Goof house in the basement, Goofy set the invention in a safe, and locked it; He picked up his one-year-old son Maxie, who was sitting next to the safe. “Well sport, I guess that’s one invention that mankind just isn’t ready for.” He walked up the stairs with Maxie.

In the Tuck house kitchen, Santana was sitting at the table with a spoonful of flan, and a pyramid of the dessert in front of her. “But Mommy, I don’t like this stuff!”

“Santana, you ordered it, you’ll eat it!” Tomie commanded.

“How was I supposed to know flan would be so yucky?” The three-year-old whined.

Across the table was Goofy Sr., whose teeth were temporarily confiscated for falling asleep, and neglecting to watch the girls. “Well, at least you can eat it without your teeth!” He ate a spoonful of flan, and sighed pleasantly.
Before anybody says anything, I'm well aware that the original setting is Tommy's house; I just wanted to write with Shenzi more. X3

Rugrats (c) Arlene Klasky, 
Gábor Csupó, Paul Germain
Goofy, Goofy Sr., Max (both versions), Friar Tuck (c) Disney
Shenzi, Santana, George, Tomie, Gigi (c) Me
© 2016 - 2024 BrainyxBat
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MultipleFandomLover's avatar
That was fun to read, especially when Santana trapped Shenzi under the laundry basket, poor girl. X3 I loved when she said "...and stop those cookies," that was so cute! Santana is so spoiled and funny. XD